Family. Its a complicated lot. I am the only girl with three brothers. It could be worse, but it is only now we are all older do we really know each other.
Now for the weepy bit.
My mum died back in 1981, I was just turned eight years old. My older two brothers were 14 and 15 and my younger brother was only 11 months old. I wont bore you with the ins and outs in this bit….
Then sadly this time last year Dad passed away, quite unexpectedly although he was in a nursing home. We expected the old blighter to go on for quite a few years yet. However it was not to be, and on Valentine’s Day he passed away quite peacefully.
Then it all just happened.
We all arranged to come home for the cremation, three of us flew in from England and one from Hong Kong. We all came with family and connected with childhood friends. It was quite amazing. Something just kind of clicked in us, especially us older three, the missing jigsaw pieces were slowly being found and pieced together.
Since this we have been in touch so much, it is just sad it took us all so long to get it together. Social media makes it easy, we use WhatsApp to chat away to each other. Last month one brother Ray, was in Vietnam, another, Jim was in Frankfurt and I had the short straw sitting in my office in Wilmslow!!
We decided to spread the ashes of our dad in the place we spent so much time as kids, Castlewellan, a beautiful forest park with a lake and great gardens. We chose Fathers’ Day as the day to do it and the day before just happened to be one of the boys 50th birthday so the whole weekend took on such a happy positive vibe. And so we made the trip back again one last time to NI to do the deed.
Our youngest brother is not partaking in all this sadly, but I guess the age gap with us all and the fact we have many more memories to share means that he feels ‘not part of it’. Not sure how to try and fill his void but I hope one day he will reach out again.
Meanwhile now we start another year, and two of us have an Easter holiday so the kids all get together, and in the summer its my eldest niece’s graduation so the Hong Kong set will be once again coming this direction! The Moore clan will certainly be on tour!
However the real point is that we were separated for many,many years, in fact at my dads funeral was the first time all four f us had been in a room for over 35 years. A sad reality of what the death of a mother does to a family. It shattered us, but time has brought us all together and hopefully with more time we can all heal. we were kids then, who did not grow up with each other into young adults, we did not really know each other. This last year has been a real journey of not just finding our siblings but finding real family and belonging. Finding ourselves and the fact that we now have ‘people’, our family, who are now also our friends, people we can count on and people we choose to spend time with.
So look out for #Mooresontour for numerous family antics or simply #Mooreontour, usually one of us making the others jealous with a trip away!